Andy Chase

So I've started watching hockey again, and actually rooting for the Los Angeles Kings. This is another disturbing milestone for me, like starting to say "It's cold" instead of "It's cold -- for Los Angeles".

Back when we lived in Massachusetts, there were a couple of years where my Dad got season tickets to the Boston Bruins, for the purpose of entertaining clients. Once in a while, there would be no business contacts for him to take, and us lucky family members would get to head into Boston and take in a game at the Garden (this was pre-Fleet Center.) It was a pretty good deal, and got me into watching hockey on a fairly regular basis, thanks to the Bruins games broadcast on pre-UPN channel 38 and ESPN.

I don't think we went to any games after moving to New Hampshire, although I still watched the Bruins play when I had the chance. When I went to school in Rochester, New York in 1992, that was pretty much it for keeping up with the Bruins; Rochester only has a minor league team called the Americains, and I don't recall games ever being televised. The closest NHL team was the Buffalo Sabres, but I never really got into them because, after all, I'm supposed to be a Bruins fan.

Since arriving in L.A. in 1996, the only time I've really watched hockey has been on the infrequent occaisions when the Kings or the Mighty Ducks play the Bruins, or maybe the Sabres; again, I'm supposed to be a Bruins fan, right?

I should note here that I'm mostly baffled by the whole sports fanatic thing. I got caught up in the big Patriots Vs. Bears thing for the 1986 Superbowl. ("Berry the Bears", remember that one?) That fall was the only time I've ever watched a whole World Series, because the Red Sox were playing the Mets. As a kid I always admired Larry Bird in the various TV spots he did for the Boston stations, but for whatever reason I've never gotten into basketball at all. I do wish I had invented those dopey Lakers car flags that seem to be mandatory for every citizen of Los Angeles County if the Lakers make it to the NBA championship. I'd be able to afford to move back to Celtics/Red Sox/Bruins/Patriots country. :)

1986 was fifth and sixth grade for me. In a town where most of the other boys start out with tee-ball in first grade and play in Little League until they reach the upper age limit, the only sport I had ever played outside of school was soccer... and I didn't particularly enjoy that. Those Patriots and Red Sox championship games were fun to get caught up in, but usually baseball and football have been the sort of things I watch if I happen to be in the mood when a game happens to be on. But for the most part, I just don't understand how guys (and some girls) get so into sports that they can rattle off not only names and stats for every player on this year's team(s), but also those of teams from 20 or 30 years ago. Or let their favorite team's defeat ruin their entire next day or week. Or let their favorite team's victory cause them to riot and loot their own damn city.

I run screaming when people start talking sports, because the most I can hope to contribute is "Yeah, I saw most of the game." It's alienating and a little bit creepy to me how passionate people can be when they get to trash talking other teams and reminiscing about their own teams' glory days. I sometimes have the impulse to yell "IT'S JUST A DAMN GAME!" at them, (I also wanted to yell this at the bellowing parents on the soccer sidelines of my youth.) I just can't get interested in learning everything about players on teams other than the ones I root for, or keeping tabs on who are the hot prospects coming up from the minors or college teams, or who's getting traded for who, blah blah blah. I watch, I hope my team wins, I get on with my life whether they do or they don't.

Nevertheless, I've noticed myself watching the Dodgers more and more often over the last few years. Like a lot of people, I got all misty about baseball as an old-timey, all-American institution back in 1998 when Mark McGuire broke Roger Maris' home run world record. Combine that with my increasing need to find something that can connect me to this place, and you've got me watching the Dodgers on KTLA fairly often during the season. I still haven't been to Dodger Stadium, though - that's one of those things I've been meaning to get around to for a few years now.

Hockey has taken longer, because I really do feel this silly loyalty to the Bruins. But over the last month or so I think I've watched at least one Kings game per week, and I'm getting that gratifying feeling of having memorized a lot of their names and getting familiar with their styles and strengths. After taking the subway for the first time last month and finding it to be a great way to get downtown, I'm keen on getting down to Staples Center for a Kings game this season.

Dear God, I'm adapting to this place. If Ray Bourque ever reads this, I hope he can find it in his heart to forgive me. I promise I'll come back to the Bruins camp just as soon as I find myself living within broadcast range of Boston or a reasonable trip to the Fleet Center... but in the meantime I've decided to get the hell on with living in L.A. without devoting every ounce of my energy to hating the place for not being everything that a city like Boston is.

I don't think I'll start to think about where to put the tree this year until next weekend at the earliest, though.Ok, now that it's actually December I'll entertain thoughts of getting my favorite Christmas album down off the CD shelf. I don't think I'll start to think about where to put the tree this year until next weekend at the earliest, though.

Christmas without snow (or at least the possibility of it) is weird enough for me as it is, but it's especially surreal to walk into a Michael's arts & crafts store a week before Halloween and see that they're already selling Halloween decorations for 50% off so they can fill the seasonal aisles with Christmas crap.

A week before Halloween.

I can remember my father's annoyed comments at how early the Christmas frenzy started every year when I was a kid, but I don't think it was ever quite that early.

This year's advertisements are also unsettling in their unabashed celebration of pure material greed... I mean, even more so than in years past. The one ad that makes me want to kick the TV in every time is for Zales jewelry:

Wife sneaks downstairs (presumably on Christmas morning) while Husband is still asleep and opens a small, jewelry sized present she finds under the tree. Cut away to whichever piece of jewelry it is they're hawking. Cut back to Wife, who runs upstairs and hops into bed beside still sleeping Husband, kissing him on the cheek.

"Well, that's cute and nice and all," you think to yourself as this 30-second drama unfolds before you. But then Wife shows her true colors...

After kissing her still sleeping Husband, Wife leans back on the pillow, pumps her fist and hisses "YES!!!" in a manner that's at once vicious and victorious. As the picture fades to black she shoots a sidelong glace at Husband. From this we can infer that if the gift was anything less than a diamond-encrusted gold necklace, Husband would wake up without his penis.

Christmas spirit, indeed. Aside from being really annoying, these commercials are also really alienating; is this how people who can afford jewelry view Christmas and the concepts of gift giving and marriage in general? The marketing folks at Zales seem to think so. These are the people who think they impress all of us Ford/Chevy/Saturn/Honda/Toyota-driving proles with Luxury Sport Utility Vehicles like the Cadillac Escalade, According to another ad I recently heard, the Escalade is THE MOST POWERFUL SUV IN THE UNIVERSE. That'll show us suckers who get 28 MPG and make car payments less than $300 per month.

I'm reminded of the Irish saying:

"If you want to know what God thinks about money, look at the people he gives it to."

On the bright side, it's been quite chilly here in L.A., and I noted a personal milestone a few days back. I mentioned the cold weather in an e-mail to a friend from the midwest, and for the first time I didn't qualify it with "well, cold for L.A." Part of me is horrified to have adjusted to nights in the 40s and 50s as being cold, but the other part of me is glad to drop the obligatory "cold for L.A." disclaimer. Friends and relatives in cold places are always quick to make the distinction anyway.

Taken during an afternoon coffee break at work. You can see the new tower construction in the background. The lousy quality of the image is due to its original resolution being 320x240. I've tried to compensate in Photoshop, but it will probably still be quite grainy after getting resized to 504 pixels wide.

11/25/2001 - Bob's Big Boy, 4211 W Riverside Dr, Toluca Lake, California.\n
A pristine Big Boy figure holds a giant burger aloft beneath the large sign.