Psychoanalyze-Pinhead

(An oldie but goodie. Open up Emacs and execute the command 'psychoanalyze-pinhead'. This fine command pits a Lisp implementation of an ELIZA style "psychoanalyst" program against the "Yow" command, which quotes Zippy the Pinhead at random, ad infinitum.)


I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time
you are finished talking, type RET twice.

ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like
RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!

Why do you say that?

.. or were you driving the PONTIAC that HONKED at me
in MIAMI last Tuesday?

Is it because honked at you in miami last tuesday that you came to me?

Jesus is my POSTMASTER GENERAL..

Earlier you said honked at you in miami last tuesday?

PUNK ROCK!! DISCO DUCK!! BIRTH CONTROL!!

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

I OWN six pink HIPPOS!!

What makes you believe you own six pink hippos?

Are we live or on tape?

What do you think?

Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha -- When will I EVER stop HAVING
FUN?!!

What happened when will you ever stop having fun?

You mean you don't want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA?

Are you sure that I might want not want to watch wrestling atlanta?

I'm wearing PAMPERS!!

You mentioned that honked at you in miami last tuesday?

I was in a HOT TUB! I was NORMAL! I was ITALIAN!! I enjoyed th'
EARTHQUAKE!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

They don't hire PERSONAL PINHEADS, Mr. Toad!

(Et Cetera)

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Andy Chase
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andychase [at] gmail.com
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