Andy Chase

It's not enough that back to school supplies start appearing on the shelves the moment all of the made-in-china Fourth of July decorations are put away... it's not enough that Christmas decorations (and music) suddenly appear in the 'Seasonal' aisle on November first.

Yesterday (January 1, this was) when I walked by that 'Seasonal' aisle at the grocery store my eyes were assaulted by garish pink hearts of all sizes and hues. It was only the center of the aisle; the sides are still full of Christmas landfill marked 70% off. As soon as the Christmas stuff is gone, I'm sure the entire aisle will look like the girly section at KB Toys.

When did Valentine's day become a big enough deal that retailers need six weeks to peddle their crap? Merchants have been pushing the start of the Christmas season steadily back for as long as I can remember, but in recent years Halloween and Valentine's Day are gaining... and enough people must be buying to merit the use of entire supermarket aisles for this stuff.

How long until some marketing genius comes up with a Santa Claus-type character (and all of the hats, mugs, t-shirts, plastic lawn sculptures, and guest soaps containing his visage) for Labor Day? That way, Consumers (don't you love being a CONSUMER as opposed to a 'customer', or even a 'human being'?) will have something to buy in the long gap between July 4 and Halloween.