Andy Chase

As I sit here with these glasses on, I'm amused to recall what a looming threat it was in elementary school for a kid to need glasses... I remember it being like a social kiss of death, and being glad that I was spared having glasses on top of all my otheSince I had never had a full eye exam that I could recall in my life, I decided to take advantage of my vision benefits and made an appointment for an eye exam at the local Lens Crafters yesterday morning. Prior to yesterday, the only testing my eyes have had was looking at the red 'apple' on the picnic table in the nurse's office in elementary school, that sort of thing; just checks to see if you can focus on whatever it is they show you.

I didn't have any reason to believe I would need glasses; aside from occasional eyestrain after over-long days (and nights) on the computer, my vision has always been pretty good both near and far.

Well, here I am looking at the monitor through my new glasses; as it turns out I'm pretty far-sighted. Thanks to being young and having fairly strong eye muscles, I've never had trouble focusing on things up close, like computer screens and books. My eye muscles were working pretty hard at the close-up stuff, but without the benefit of comparison I never felt it.

With the glasses I can definitely feel my eyes relaxing when focusing on anything within 5 or 6 feet. Beyond that, though, I get the sensation I always did whenever I would try on somebody else's glasses; that swimmy, distorted vision that will give you a headache if you look for more than a few seconds.

This will take some getting used to. I expect I will have a mild headache for the next couple of days while my hand-eye coordination adjusts to the magnification of close-up objects and the mild distortion of objects in my peripheral vision.

As I sit here with these glasses on, I'm amused to recall what a looming threat it was in elementary school for a kid to need glasses... I remember it being like a social kiss of death, and being glad that I was spared having glasses on top of all my other social shortcomings.

I don't remember exactly why it was such a big deal, though. I guess a big part of it was the athletic aspect; if you have to wear glasses all the time, it impedes on your ability to run around doing the stupid stuff kids do, and is therefore exclusionary in that regard. And of course, anything from the norm in elementary school is a strike against you.

It is nice not to need to worry about stupid bullshit like that any more. Even in Los Angeles, which I'd be willing to wager is the stupid bullshit capital of the world, the issue wouldn't be so much whether or not you have glasses as much as whether your frames are Armani or the LensCrafters $50 special.