Andy Chase

Last fall I wrote some fairly acerbic things about the general lack of quality of coffee in the workplace and posted them on Intercrap… I’d link to it but Intercrap has been experiencing technical difficulties for some months now.

Anyway, the gist of the thing was that I’m tired, so very tired of bad coffee maker maintenance at the office… just the basic stuff, like actually washing the carafe and filter basket before making a new pot. Quality coffee helps too, but it is gracious of companies to provide free coffee at all, and they can’t be faulted for going with the cheap stuff like Yuban.

But ye gods, our department’s designated coffee maker is in a room without a sink! I think somebody rinses and wipes out the carafe somewhere at the end of the day, but that’s about it.

Soon after I started here I went the bring-your-own-Thermos route for a while, but that got old quickly. A month or so ago I brought in a jar of instant coffee, reasoning that at least instant coffee is consistent, even if it’s not really coffee.

Every once in a while I will still go for the gusto and pour myself a mug of black coffee from the office carafe, and every time I am unprepared for how awful it is; bitter, overextracted, and burnt.

This week I have taken to adding non-dairy creamer and sugar to the stuff, which makes it tolerable… and it finally occurs to me (duh) that this is probably why a lot of people add copious milk/cream/creamer and sugar to their coffee.

I’ve been accused of being a coffee snob, but what I really am is spoiled by a small place in Sherman Oaks, CA called The Coffee Roaster - they roast their own beans in the store, and brew it to perfect strength.

I know a lot of people drink coffee for the caffeine as opposed to the taste, but to me that’s buying some Oscar Meyer sliced turkey for Thanksgiving because all you’re after is the Tryptophan. Or drinking Budweiser/Coors.

It’s like anything else… if your mom/aunt/grandmother makes the best apple pie in the world, all other apple pies will prove disappointing

Then there are those who will actively avoid good coffee. The experience that truly blew my mind happened a couple of years ago, when I worked across the street from Mani’s Bakery on Fairfax. They’re an organic ingredients only type of place, right down to their coffee. One day somebody from another office of my then employer came by our office to pick up some paperwork or some such. Somebody was going to make a run across the street for coffee, and asked her if she wanted a cup and she said, “Sure!” Then, clearly as an afterthought (After all, it’s not an exaggeration to say there’s a Starbucks on every corner in Los Angeles) she asked “Is it Starbucks?”

When we told her it wasn’t Starbucks but maybe even a little bit better, without that omnipresent burnt taste, she rolled her eyes and proudly proclaimed, “Well, I only drink Starbucks coffee.”

It was as though we had suggested that she drink some bottled toilet water instead of Evian. Were we supposed to be impressed? Or feel inferior? I don’t know. I just want a decent cup of coffee.